discopete1

evelynne came to the zoo with me and the kids this Saturday. She's got all the good pictures, and I'll probably edit with one or two of them. But that's not really the point. She made a comment that struck me.

"The zoo can be a little depressing when you read the blurbs about how this animal or that slug is about to go extinct in the wild."

"Yes," I sagely replied, "When you go through the cat exhibit, it's all about how lions are killed, there are two leopards left in all of russia, and tigers are ground up into aphrodesiacs. And then you get to the puma exhibit, and they want you to take one home, there're so many of the freaking things."

If you'd like to learn more about the Puma/cougar/mountain lion, consult your local Wikipedia!

After a recent business meeting we took off to the bar because we heard there was Karaoke. We had a good mix of Americans, Germans, and a Japanese guy too. People were knowingly telling me "This is very different from how they do it in Asia," as if I really cared. I sang "Mandi" to my namesaked coworker...she was delighted. Our nanny later informed me that this was horribly geeky, as apparently a Buffy the Vampire slayer sings Mandi in an episode...honestly, I had no idea.

One of the Americans sang that Four Non-blondes song, and he could have had any 40-something woman he wanted. Besides our group, the most notable song was three women who sang "The Boogie-woogie Bugle Boy". They really kicked ass.

I'm always one for thinking about what would be inappropriate on occasions like this. Personally I think you can only go wrong by being overly maudlin and sappy. You know "Take this job and shove it" would be welcomed by management for its hijinks value.

Kind of a lame post, but I need to keep this thing alive.

Philipa very seriously told me the other day about the three things that make her sad. In no particular order they are
1) being sick
2) feeling lonely
3) falling in the toilet

Just got back from Singapore. The jet lag is literally killing me, or I've also contracted a stomach bug on landing.

The good:
-food was generally good (although not nearly spicy enough)
-people were friendly
-hotel was nice and responsive
-not really that different than Houston, except you hear more people speaking English
-immigration system is a breeze
-dragon boating with Canadian team (I was one of few actual Canadians on it, but that's kind of typical for expat Canadian groups)

the bad:
-kind of a let-down. I kept thinking, "I'm in Asia and they're excited that they have a China-town? The whole place should be China town"
-little kids in cute outfits turned out to be school children and not a roving band of karate crime fighters
-despite being a teeny-tiny country, it took an hour to get from hotel to plant
-aggressive hookers patting my crotch just doesn't sell sex. Is it just me?
-crappy US immigration system asking me to provide a document at one station and telling me off for providing said document at the subsequent station

the funny:
-the nanny state leads to subway warning signs about things like not falling out the window and hand washing
-watching the Tamil operators light up when I asked if they liked cricket
-hearing the note of jealousy in Phillipa's voice when I mentioned I'd been to the zoo

Canada came up aces in the 'White Christmas' category. We went to T's parents house and had about 3 days (nights really) of hoar frost, followed by a very gentle, powdery snow. The kids had a ton of fun, and we did too.

Here is one picture, more are behind the cut. I just like the way the pines look like those evil booger creatures from "Jacob Two-two and the Hooded Fang".



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-father went to college before you started
-father finished college before you started
-mother went to college before you started
-mother finished college before you started
-have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor. no physicians...they work with their hands
-my family was the same or higher class than your high school teachers
-I had a computer at home when you were growing up
-I had my own computer at home when you were growing up just made it, got one last year of high school
-more than 50 books at home when you were growing up
-more than 500 books at home when you were growing up
-read children's books by a parent when you were growing up
-had lessons of any kind as a child or a teen
-had more than two kinds of lessons as a child or a teen
-the people in the media who dress and talk like you were portrayed positively I could argue differently; prep school boys are often negatively portrayed, and engineers are supposed to be sexless wonders, and Bob and Doug MacKenzie were huge when I was a kid

-had a credit card with your name on it before college
-had or will have less than $5000 in student loans when you graduate
-had or will have no student loans when you graduate
-went to a private high school
-went to summer camp
-had a private tutor
-been to Europe more than once as a child or teen
-family vacations involved staying at hotels rather than KOA or at relatives homes
-all of your clothing has been new was third child...but I still dressed well
-parents gave you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
-there was original art in your house as a child or teen
-had a phone in your room
-parents owned their own house or apartment when you were a child or teen
-had your own room as a child or teen
-participated in an SAT/ACT prep course even though I went to school in canada and didn't need to!
had your own cell phone in High School untimely
-had your own TV as a child or teen
-opened a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
-have ever flown anywhere on a commercial airline
-went on a cruise with your family not a cruise, but a couple of resorts, Catalina Island, Santa Barbara...you get the picture
-parents took you to museums and art galleries as a child or teen
-were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

I liked this exercise. T and I had a fun discussion based on it. I think the context needs to be considered. As I mentioned to rhiannonstone, I think your response to this says more about you than your parents. It would be a fun exercise to do with a large group, although the questions would have to be tailored to suit the age group.

T bought a new wallet, so we gave her old one to Philipa. She was pretty excited, and immediately started digging around in it. She eventually popped up her head and said, "Where did all the money go?"

(she pronounces it 'mun-eee')

I told her, "I wonder the same thing. Probably all was spent on lunch."

"oh...I need money! Can I get the money from the elephant?"

(her piggy-bank is an elephant)

"No sweety, we don't want Philip to eat any."

Eventually T cut up some orange paper into some bills and put it in the wallet for Philipa. She was disappointed, "I want round money!"

I cut up a Mini-wheats box. Now Philipa has orange, blue, Shrek, Donkey, and Kitty money. She spent some time looking it over before carefully putting it into her change purse.

She loves the wallet and has been carrying it around in the classic 'woman-holding-a-pocketbook' stance. Sort of like a football carry, but with an upright stance and more of a curled wrist. Philipa even took it with her to the Please Touch Museum. I think it has been one of her favorite toys ever, so we'll keep humoring her. I can't wait for someone to get all worried that this little girl has taken someone else's wallet. Maybe we'll need to make some ID for Philipa. She'd like that. Stuff it with her own baby pictures.

Philip is a little sick, but he's moving around more and more. He crawls everywhere after Philipa. He also will crawl up to you and start to head-butt your leg when he wants to be picked up. The two of them love it when I carry one in each arm and dance around the house, singing whatever comes to mind. So far we've had "Boogie-oogie-oogie", "Camptown Races", "The William Tell Overture", "You can't hurry love", and several other timeless classics.

Merry Christmas.

Philipa was pretty excited about the whole thing. While shopping for costumes at Target, we asked her what she wanted to be.

"Costume. I want to be a costume!"
"How about a princess?"
"Nooooo! I want to be a costume!"
"This horse one is cute..."
"COSTUME!!"

We eventually got her a princess costume. Philip put up much less fuss and was a dragon. He was pretty excited about that, but he's pretty darn excited about everything, especially his sister, see?


Philipa told the little boy down the street that she was a Princess who would save the dragon. The boy got very upset and started lecturing us, "Nooo, Philipa. Princesses don't rescue dragons. Princes kill them! You can't do that, that's not right! etc" while his mother rolled her eyes. I gather she gets this a lot.

Anyhow, on Halloween we walked the two up and down our block, visiting about 15 houses. People were pretty excited about the whole show, and there were some really cute kids out and about. Philipa was pretty shy at her first house, tried to walk into the second, and was a seasoned pro by the third. She'd stop and look inside her bag after getting stuff and happily shout out "Candy!" or "Lollipop!"

We got home around 6, and I sat on the porch to hand out candy. Philipa helped, and she gave away about half the candy before she paused and said, "I need some candy for myself." I thought is was hilarious to see her trying to sort out the 5 bigger kids that had come, making sure they all got some candy. She was very cute.

We ran out of candy around 7PM, 5 bags were used.

Comment if you like, this is mostly for me.

Philipa has taken to asking us "Do you want some noodles?" and the like in a cutesy-poo voice that we use with her and Philip. Her favorite activities at the moment include building a barn out of lego-blocks, tracing her hands and feet, demanding "I WANT TO GLUUUUUEEE SOMETHING!", going to the zoo or talking about going to the zoo, flirting with Philip. She is awesome about going to bed, although her routine is growing more elaborate with every day. She's got a couple of good friends, but is still most in love with me. It's wonderful to come home and have her hug my leg while shouting "Daddeeeeee!" but she can get cloying sometimes. It's difficult to take photos of her because she immediately wants to look at the back of the camera and overdoes the smile (see below). She's pretty girly, enjoying having her hair put up, wearing dresses, and arranging tea parties. She still is a picky eater.



Philip is sitting up well and is on the verge of crawling. He is way more interested in toys than Philipa ever was. Already his ball sense is pretty good. He likes me, but better when Mom or Philipa is around. We often ask her to cheer him up. He is probably happiest in the bath with Philipa, the kind of raw glee that you wonder if you'll ever attain as an adult. He eats like a champ but is still fairly thin. He's really long, and is wearing the same clothes Philipa was wearing at one and a half. His hair is much blonder than hers, but still has a red tinge. He talks as much as his sister ever did, so our house is much noisier than it once was. He still wakes up once or twice a night but is pretty good about going to bed

I was reading that a standard college entrance interview question is "Name three historical figures you would like to have dinner with, and why?"

I guessing the standard answers include Hillary Clinton, Eleanor Roosevelt, Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill, but if I worked college admissions I'd keep those lame-brains out, or I'd ask, "What, you think you could keep up with that conversation?"

Instead, I think people should answer creatively, like "Stalin, Hitler, and Mao Tse Tung", or, even better, "Stalin, Hitler, and George W. Bush". You could also say, "Jesus, Sting, and Helen of Troy". Why Jesus? He sounds like a nice guy and you'll never run out of food. Helen of Troy because she'll sleep with anybody!

The answer, apparently, that guarentees your admission into business school is, "will the college be paying, or will it be out-of-pocket?"

Who are you having to dinner, and why?

Did you know that Philadelphia has the country's oldest Disc Golf course?

http://www.fairmountpark.org/DiscGolf.asp

Just another example of how Philadelphia leads the way for the nation and world. Somehow, it didn't make this list.

Anyhow, I was wondering if people would be up for a rousing game of Disc Golf this weekend. I've been given an OK from T to goof off for a bit, and there is no set time, although nap time (12-3) on either day would probably be most popular.

Here I am at work reading social commentary on the subject when Craig has been at work perusing websites describing the best public restrooms to seek anonymous gay sex. Upon hearing about such websites, several thoughts came to mind:
-is this decided by voting, or is it like some Men's Health contributor giving a top ten of his personal favorite gyms
-does Minneapolis consider these kinds of ratings when determining the customers enjoyment of their visit to the Minneapolis-St Paul region?
-are the people just meeting there, or are they having sex in the bathroom. If the latter, is it anal, oral, or merely fondling under the clothes? Regardless, I cannot fathom the attraction of sex acts in a public restroom...don't you realize what most people are doing in there?
-do lesbians bother with this sort of rating? Part of me doubts it, but I still haven't gotten a straight clear answer on whether lesbians rate boobs the way straight men do
-I have yet to find the appropriate website, but I'm certain it would tell me that my bedroom is the best place for unanonymous sex with my wife...perhaps I should generate a list.
-Regardless, public restrooms would not be on the list, particularly because I now associate the restrooms at the Minneapolis airport as a place where I argue with my daughter over whether or not she needs to go pee (She does need to pee...but she's frightened of the cut-out in the toilet seat and has a remarkably springy bladder)
-on a more somber note, why was it a misdemeanor. Exactly how much 'lewd behavior' do you need to demonstrate to get arrested? I assume they can't stop you and fine you for starting to jaywalk until, say, both your feet are in the street. Perhaps it gets you stopped when you reach your hand under the divider (for the bathroom sex misdemeanor, not jaywalking).
-Yes, I find the whole matter titillating, but I want to hear more gay-friendly voices discussing the entrapment angle
-I was just in the bathroom now and had someone in the stall next to me. I didn't know who they were (couldn't recognize the shoes) but was considering tapping my foot to try to get a laugh. Some people at my work would have busted out laughing, others would have been offended, and others might have taken it as a serious solicitation...so I held back.

As Lipby pointed out to me, we (straight men) are confused when it comes to the nuts and bolts of other people's sexuality. As you can see, thinking about it has piqued my curiosity. As I drove home down Kelly Drive, watching some of the joggers, I had to wonder about whether gay men and straight women barely notice the jogging women they way I pass over the ROTC guys like poor TV reception. Are there people who are genuinely uninterested in looking at any of the people (sexually disinterested, not because you are a cautious driver)? Also, how scrambled does the sex need to be for you to loose interest? When I was younger, I could deal with Picasso porn but drew the line at purely aural sex.

Now I'll post this and have no one comment, leave me hanging out like a freak. Go ahead, enjoy humiliating me.

I just started reading the latest Harry Potter, having borrowed it from our nanny. Yes, our nanny is a Sci-Fi/fantasy nut who took my kids to the comic convention when it was in town. Philipa was scared of the Storm Troopers (and she should be...they're evil), but excited about the Dora the Explorer t-shirt she got.

Our nanny also has a crush on Optimus Prime, which I have teased her about to no end.

Anyhow, already only four chapters in my active mind is reinterpretting the story for slash fic. I suppose reading a book for pubescent children is well written if it puts me in the mindset of its target audience.

Still, I've never considered writing any of that stuff. I'm more into the classics. For example, my Dr Seuss fan fic story Would, could you with a goat?

We drove up to Canada for our vacation. Before we left Philipa had developed a pimple on her bum, but we'd been to the pediatrician and they'd OK'd her for travel and put her on some antibiotics.

The kids were great in the van, and Philipa was pleased to discover that we have a DVD player in there. We tell her it only works on long trips.

Of course, as luck has it, by Monday the pimple developed into a full-blown abcess and she came down with a fever. We called the pediatrician, who by then had just got the culture back saying Philipa had MRSA and we took her to the emergency room in Oakville.

We were trying to prepare Philipa for what was coming, and she was quite excited about the idea of the IV, "I get needle in my arrrmmm!" but continued to insist that the doctors not touch her bum. She got really freaked out by the blood-pressure cuff (which she called a bracelet), and was shortly all doped up on ketamine, a.k.a. the rave drug 'Special K'. It's weird to see your kid all dopey like that, but I sang to her while they drained and packed her abcess.

Around 2am they admitted her to the hospital and she and I finally got some sleep. T had taken Philip home after the abcess was drained.

We ended up spending two more days in the hospital, as they wanted to make sure the abcess was properly cleared out. By the end, Philipa was alternately bouncing off the walls and shouting "NO BRACELET!" when ever a nurse came in. Because Philip is still nursing I got to stay with Philipa, and that was a bizzare kind of bonding experience.

They released her on Wednesday and we spent the rest of the vacation at my parents house, making sure she was getting better. On Saturday we loaded them back into the van and headed home. That was a minor adventure in itself as we decided to take some back roads through PA, but we got home Saturday evening, more stressed out than we were before the vacation began.

Sure enough, on Monday people at work were asking, "How was the trip?"

I could only tell them "Awful."

T took Philip to Colorado for a conference, leaving me home alone with Philipa. I'm getting all excited trying to plan the weekend out. This evening I plan on using some of my CSA vegetables somehow. My current plan is sauteed shrimp with some of the cilantro, and maybe sauteeing the swiss chard or kale. Problem is I've never cooked those before, so I have no idea what I'm in for. I'm pretty sure Philip won't like them.

My plan to keep her occupied while I cook? Let her mix bubbles on the floor.

Bubbles a la Philipa:
in a salad-spinner basin, add 1/4 tsp dishsoap and several cups of water
give wisk, spoon, and cups to child
dry thoroughly

It was very cute. The other day Philipa was at Smith Memorial with a friend. I asked her if she wanted to go to the slide, she said "YES!" and turned to her friend, swung her arm, and cried, "Vamanos!"

They spoofed Dora the Explorer a little bit on The Daily Show the other night, discussing immigration. I thought that would be a perfect parody:

"Who do we ask for help when we want to get to San Diego?"

"First we go across the river, then we go over the fence, and that's how we get to the asparagus farm!"

My feelings on the whole immigration debate are those of disbelief. It's disturbing to hear discussions of the system by elected officials who appear to know nothing about it. Do they know how long it takes for the INS, or their state offices, to double-check a name-spelling? Have any of these people ever gone through the non-citizen line at the airport?

Baby-sitting was successful, in that both children survived. I cleverly distracted Philipa with the TV. In this photo, she has discovered the on-off button, which would amuse her for as long as I needed.


Later tdj stopped by and I could move away from zone defense


Eventually we returned home, and we put Philipa to work cleaning the house...seriously, we want her to be an engineer, but I think her real strength is in housekeeping.


There's more photos on the flickr site.

I'm out here with T on a business trip...I'm basically babysitting Philipa and Philip while T gets to have fun in meetings.

Not sure who won the coin toss on this outing.

Right now I'm being a bad parent, with Philip in his crib wiggling, and Philipa watching Curious George on TV. She's trying to get my attention by telling me that her milk fell down. Still, monkeys on TV is pretty cool.

We are staying at the Sofitel San Francisco Bay, which is very nice, but I'm feeling rather frumpy since I haven't had a haircut in 2 months, and I get to walk through the lobby with one kid in the baby-bjorn and another in the stroller (self portrait photos to come!)

We took a walk around the lagoon...even Philipa was bored. I'm very near the headquarters for Electronic Arts, but I don't imagine they give tours or free samples, much less want to see a frumpy Pitt sans Jolie.

So far the strawberries have been wonderful. Philipa has eaten 7 already today!

I'll be meeting up with tdj later today. Maybe I'll abandon him with the little monsters gremlins darlings.

I'm not really sure what I'm still doing with an LJ right now. Seems to mostly be a diary, and a place to post my artistic nudes for those on the filter list. In light of the former, last week Philip had a fever. This is scary in <2 month-old children, so we took him to CHOP, where they did a spinal tap and other unpleasant things. His white blood cell count came in at 10, which is just on the low end for a meningitis symptom (something like 10-10,000), and so he was admitted. It was creepy swapping back and forth with T to spend time at CHOP, as we were both even more sleep deprived than we were before Philip got sick. That and I'd just finished a book The Children's Hospital about a children's hospital afloat after God dissolves his convenant and re-deluges the earth.

Anyhow, Philip is mostly all better now, thankfully they were just being cautious. It was kind of nice to spend uninterupted time with him. He has just started smiling back at us, with only half his mouth so far. You catch him sleeping and giving a full grin at times. My guess is that he's dreaming about the same thing that I dream about when I smile in my sleep.

Philipa was obviously a little upset about Philip being in the hospital. I was in the bathroom at home getting ready and I heard her babbling about something. I came out and found that she'd gotten a diaper out for Philip, opened it up, and put it on the change table. It was kind of a cargo cult for kids (kargo kult?). She was really happy to see him that night when she visited CHOP.

T's sister was here too. Her son is about 6 months old, so Philipa thought he was very neat, and we thought he was much more fun than Philip. Philipa's mispronunciation of her cousin's is 'Bacon', which bugged my sister-in-law when I said it.

I got such a kick out of it that I kept asking Philipa "Who's that on the floor?"

"Bacon!"

My SIL declined my suggestion that this would be the perfect nickname for her son.

Finally, after weeks of telling her that 'the animals are sleeping', we went to the zoo on Saturday, along with the rest of Philadelphia. Ironically enough, several animals were sleeping when we got there, so I told Philipa, "See, the animals are just waking up now!"

Where do I submit this?

As I watched the vile Eleanor binge,
I caught myself upon the door hinge,
I cried aloud to make that bore cringe,
"Holy shit, I just rhymed with orange!"

This should get me at least an honorary degree somewhere.